1
00:00:00,583 --> 00:00:02,544
GRANDDAD:
To whom it may concern.

2
00:00:02,627 --> 00:00:03,920
This is
Robert J. Freeman,

3
00:00:03,962 --> 00:00:05,880
astrophysicist,
soccer star,

4
00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:08,049
ex-UFC welterweight
champion.

5
00:00:08,133 --> 00:00:10,552
For many of you, this will be
the last time hearing from me.

6
00:00:10,635 --> 00:00:12,971
For as of today, I am deleting
my Facebook account forever.

7
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,514
I launched this page
with high hopes

8
00:00:14,597 --> 00:00:16,349
that it might help me find
a woman to love me

9
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:18,393
on those lonely nights when
I'm not jetting around

10
00:00:18,476 --> 00:00:19,894
the world fighting terrorism.

11
00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:22,272
But all you bitches turned out
to be bat-shit crazy.

12
00:00:22,313 --> 00:00:23,773
Like that bat-shit crazy
Carlita,

13
00:00:23,815 --> 00:00:25,817
the Dominican drug-queen.

14
00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:28,820
An average-sized man
can smuggle more cocaine

15
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:30,989
in his rectum
than you think.

16
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,408
Or that bat-shit crazy Tara,

17
00:00:33,491 --> 00:00:34,826
who tried to kidnap
my grandson Riley.

18
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,619
He's just adorable!

19
00:00:36,661 --> 00:00:38,496
I can't give him back!
You can't make me!

20
00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:39,998
You can't make me!

21
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,792
And that bat-shit
crazy Dr. Ellen Jackson,

22
00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:45,795
who lured me with promises
of romance and free checkups,

23
00:00:45,837 --> 00:00:48,590
and then tried
to harvest my organs.

24
00:00:48,673 --> 00:00:50,925
[SCREAMS AND GRUNTS]

25
00:00:51,009 --> 00:00:52,344
From now on,
I'm out of the game.

26
00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:54,387
Fortunately,
I don't blame myself.

27
00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:56,014
I blame all of you.

28
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,932
I know many of you ladies
are saying, "No, Robert!

29
00:00:58,016 --> 00:00:59,893
You can't take that
good loving away from us!"

30
00:00:59,976 --> 00:01:01,436
Well, it's too late.
It's gone forever.

31
00:01:01,519 --> 00:01:03,855
And so, with no regrets,
I hereby commit

32
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,690
Facebook hari-kari.

33
00:01:06,858 --> 00:01:08,943
[EXHALES]

34
00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:11,446
Delete!

35
00:01:11,529 --> 00:01:13,406
♪ I am the stone
The builder refused ♪

36
00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:15,325
♪ I am the visual
The inspiration ♪

37
00:01:15,367 --> 00:01:17,118
♪ That made lady
Sing the blues ♪

38
00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:18,620
♪ I'm the spark
That makes your idea bright ♪

39
00:01:18,703 --> 00:01:20,288
♪ The same spark
That lights the dark ♪

40
00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:22,207
♪ So that you can know
Left from right ♪

41
00:01:22,248 --> 00:01:24,209
♪ I am the ballot in your box
The bullet in the gun ♪

42
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:25,627
♪ The inner glow
That lets you know ♪

43
00:01:25,710 --> 00:01:26,795
♪ To call your brother sun ♪

44
00:01:26,878 --> 00:01:28,254
♪ The story that just begun ♪

45
00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:29,631
♪ The promise
Of what's to come ♪

46
00:01:29,714 --> 00:01:30,965
♪ And I'm 'a remain a soldier ♪

47
00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:32,759
♪ Till the war is won
Won ♪

48
00:01:32,842 --> 00:01:35,178
♪ Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ♪

49
00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:38,056
♪ Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ♪

50
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,642
♪ Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ♪

51
00:01:40,725 --> 00:01:41,893
♪ Chop, chop, chop ♪

52
00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:46,439
[BIRDS CHIRPING]

53
00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:47,649
TOM:
Man, this weekly jog

54
00:01:47,732 --> 00:01:49,234
was a great idea,
wasn't it?

55
00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:51,194
Look at us.
We're workout buddies.

56
00:01:51,236 --> 00:01:52,487
Hey, speaking of buddies,

57
00:01:52,570 --> 00:01:54,531
I read your Facebook
suicide note, man.

58
00:01:54,572 --> 00:01:56,324
Uh,
I'm really sorry.

59
00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:57,659
I'm not just giving up
on Facebook,

60
00:01:57,742 --> 00:01:59,327
I'm giving up on women.
It's pointless.

61
00:01:59,411 --> 00:02:00,662
These women out here
are insane.

62
00:02:00,745 --> 00:02:02,497
Robert, Robert,
the key to happiness

63
00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:05,000
is to eliminate all black women
from your life.

64
00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:07,544
I mean, look at me.
No black women in my life.

65
00:02:07,585 --> 00:02:08,837
Look how happy I am.

66
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:10,338
I'm happy as a nigga
with a new gun.

67
00:02:10,422 --> 00:02:12,173
Now, Ruckus,
that is preposterous.

68
00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:14,342
Oh, preposterous? Preposterous.
Really? Really?

69
00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:16,094
Answer me a question:
is you happy?

70
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,346
Sure am.
Uh-huh. See?

71
00:02:18,430 --> 00:02:20,015
No black women
in his life neither.

72
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:21,766
Nigga-free and that's
how he need to be.

73
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:23,351
Just because I'm married
to a white woman

74
00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:25,895
doesn't mean there's a single
thing wrong with black women.

75
00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:27,564
But you did marry
a white woman.

76
00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:29,983
You have to find the woman
who makes you happy, Robert.

77
00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:31,776
Well, black women
don't wanna be happy.

78
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:33,695
They squeeze out about
seven or eight of them

79
00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:36,197
little nappy-headed children
by the time they 21,

80
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:37,449
it's all downhill from there.

81
00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:39,284
[PANTING]

82
00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:40,702
Look at that.

83
00:02:40,785 --> 00:02:42,912
Oh, that woman's body over
there, that's a temple.

84
00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:44,998
A black woman's body
is the Temple of Doom.

85
00:02:45,081 --> 00:02:47,584
When was the last time you saw
a black woman jogging, Robert?

86
00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:48,877
Ask yourself that question.

87
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,378
And I ain't talking
about them

88
00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:52,172
super steroided shemales

89
00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:54,549
in the Olympics that tuck
they testicles up, either.

90
00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:56,217
Well, come to
think of it...

91
00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:57,886
Ah-ha.
That's what I thought.

92
00:02:57,969 --> 00:03:00,555
You ain't never seen it
because black women don't jog,

93
00:03:00,638 --> 00:03:02,057
that way
they don't sweat out

94
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:03,725
all them industrial-strength

95
00:03:03,808 --> 00:03:05,393
toxic avenger
chemicals they use

96
00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:06,644
to straighten up
they hair.

97
00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:08,104
Mm, Sarah
loves to jog.

98
00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:10,106
Well, of course she do.
Sarah is a human being.

99
00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:12,567
Okay, fellas,
enough of the guy talk,

100
00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:14,110
gibber-gabber,
talkie-talk.

101
00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:16,321
Can we just start
running already? Come on.

102
00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:17,739
[LAUGHS]

103
00:03:17,822 --> 00:03:19,324
You coming?
I ain't running with y'all

104
00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:20,533
two niggas in the park.

105
00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:22,243
Police might shoot me
by mistake.

106
00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:23,453
[GRUNTS]

107
00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:25,163
See you on the
other side, nigga.

108
00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:28,917
[♪♪♪]

109
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,794
Oh.

110
00:03:32,837 --> 00:03:35,465
♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo-dee ♪

111
00:03:35,507 --> 00:03:37,008
Mm.

112
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,551
Mm, mm, mm.

113
00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:45,141
♪ I know you're
The one for me, baby ♪

114
00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:47,102
I'm sorry,
you don't mind

115
00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:48,269
if I stop here, do you?

116
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:50,146
Uh, no.
You-- You're jogging?

117
00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:52,565
Well, just love keeping
myself in shape.

118
00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:54,401
It's murder on my hair,
but you know,

119
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:56,820
no point in having the best
hair at my own funeral.

120
00:03:56,861 --> 00:04:00,156
Ebony.
Ebony Brown.

121
00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:04,536
Boys,
guess what.

122
00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:06,705
I met a woman,
and she asked me out on a date.

123
00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:07,997
HUEY: Grab the gun.
RILEY: Got it.

124
00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:09,499
You get the sword.
[GUN COCKS]

125
00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:10,959
Hurry up,
get to the car.

126
00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:13,003
Where she at? Do we need
to sneak out the back?

127
00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:14,462
I like this one.
She's different.

128
00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:16,089
Your dating life has been
a serious threat

129
00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:18,591
to the safety of you,
the people in this house--

130
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,468
And really the entire
neighborhood.

131
00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:22,137
Not her, I met her
at the park.

132
00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:24,597
What was she doing in the park
in the middle of the day? Huh?

133
00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:26,057
She was jogging.
She looking for

134
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,934
some lonely old man
to take advantage of.

135
00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:29,644
Really?
I guess it's possible.

136
00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:32,397
Know what? I'm gonna call her
and cancel our date.

137
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:33,857
Can you just take
it slow this time?

138
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,191
Maybe not bring
her back here

139
00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:37,277
until you're sure she's safe.
Never mind.

140
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,404
I said I was giving up on women
and that's what I'm gonna do.

141
00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:41,865
Maybe your problem with women
is you pick crazy ones.

142
00:04:41,906 --> 00:04:43,491
But you can't hold that against

143
00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:45,660
every new woman you meet.
Don't you always complain

144
00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:47,662
about women who can't
let go of their baggage?

145
00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:49,998
Don't be a hypocrite,
Granddad.

146
00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:52,083
Be a hypocrite,
Granddad.

147
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:54,085
[♪♪♪]

148
00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:02,761
Hello, there, chimpan--
Uh, monkey--

149
00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:04,471
I mean,
Negro female.

150
00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:07,349
Welcome to-- Oh.

151
00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:09,642
Ruckus, how can you work at all
these places at one time?

152
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:11,394
Hello, Robert.
What a surprise

153
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:12,687
to see you here
with your

154
00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:14,189
female companion.

155
00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:15,690
Robert,
who's this?

156
00:05:15,774 --> 00:05:17,025
This is just
the valet guy.

157
00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:19,194
Mr. Valet Guy,
can I speak to you over here

158
00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:21,237
about the car?

159
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:23,990
Robert Freeman, I swear
every time I'm ready

160
00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:26,201
to count you amongst
the smartest of the accursed

161
00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:28,203
sons of Ham, you manage
to prove me wrong.

162
00:05:28,286 --> 00:05:30,288
I want you to leave us alone
tonight, Ruckus.

163
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,248
You're not gonna ruin this.
We're just going to get

164
00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:34,209
to know each other.
Oh, really? Really?

165
00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:36,711
Well, I'll tell you everything
you need to know right now:

166
00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:38,171
She got kids,
she got a police record,

167
00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:40,423
and she got debt up
to her wide nostrils.

168
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,759
Well, we'll see
about that.

169
00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:45,720
But you just
leave us alone.

170
00:05:45,804 --> 00:05:47,055
EBONY:
I've never been here.

171
00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:48,765
GRANDDAD:
Mm, you smell so good, Ebony.

172
00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:50,850
EBONY:
Thank you.

173
00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:52,811
Mm, everything
looks great.

174
00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:54,771
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

175
00:05:54,813 --> 00:05:56,648
Robert?
Uh.

176
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,650
Is something wrong?
Nothing's wrong.

177
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,568
Just very excited to get
to know you, that's all.

178
00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:01,820
Tell me about yourself.

179
00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:03,405
What do you wanna know?
Anything.

180
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:05,907
You can tell me, uh, about
the last time you were arrested,

181
00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:07,784
or a funny story about
the collection agent,

182
00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:10,704
or about one of your
many, many, many kids.

183
00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:12,664
[LAUGHS]
I've never been arrested,

184
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:13,957
and I don't have
any kids,

185
00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:16,042
and I have
perfect credit.

186
00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:17,252
Really?

187
00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:18,586
Uh...

188
00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,839
I need to use
the restroom.

189
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,173
Ruckus,
you were wrong.

190
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:23,717
No record, no kids,
no nothing.

191
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:24,926
She passed
the test.

192
00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:26,094
She didn't
pass the test.

193
00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:27,554
She just smarter
than you.

194
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:28,763
Let me talk to her.
No.

195
00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:30,265
Don't you go over there,
Ruckus.

196
00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:32,767
But--
Leave me alone, I gotta go pee.

197
00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:34,853
[TOILET FLUSHES]

198
00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:39,607
I'm okay, thanks.

199
00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:41,901
Whew, don't mess it up.

200
00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:43,570
Be calm, take it slow.

201
00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:45,780
Mm-hm, hot date,
tonight, huh, brother?

202
00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:48,283
Yeah, it's like everything
she says is perfect.

203
00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:49,284
But I'm taking it slow,

204
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,202
just getting to know each other.
Mm-hm.

205
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,538
There you go.
Good luck, brother.

206
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,790
[CLEARS THROAT]
[COINS CLANGING]

207
00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:57,584
Oh, I'm sorry.

208
00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:58,793
All I have is a 5.

209
00:06:58,877 --> 00:07:00,295
All right,
I'll take that for now.

210
00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:02,339
Well, don't you think
a 5 is a bit much?

211
00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:04,549
All you did was turn the water
on and hand me a paper towel.

212
00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:07,093
I didn't even ask for it.
You don't have to ask for that.

213
00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,095
It comes with
the service, nigga,

214
00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:11,806
just like the assortment
of gums, mints, lotions,

215
00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:13,475
and hair care products.

216
00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:15,810
But I didn't use any of that
stuff, I just had to pee.

217
00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:17,395
Now I'm happy to tip,
but a 5 is too much.

218
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,856
Too much? For sitting
a foot and a half away

219
00:07:19,898 --> 00:07:21,983
from piss and shit
and nasty-ass farts

220
00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:24,819
from you motherfuckers
for six hours straight, nigga?

221
00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:26,237
I shouldn't have
to go to the ATM

222
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:28,031
every time I wanna
use the bathroom.

223
00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:29,783
Nigga, get your ass
away from my commodes.

224
00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:32,285
Fuck you.
No, no, no, you don't.

225
00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:34,079
Get your ass back here
with my mints.

226
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,956
You lucky I ain't allowed
to leave this bathroom, nigga.

227
00:07:38,249 --> 00:07:39,834
[GRUNTS]

228
00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:42,504
Oh, I always hear
y'all complain about

229
00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:43,838
a shortage of black men.

230
00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:45,632
Well, clearly
you hadn't checked jail.

231
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:46,883
Ha, jail?

232
00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:48,802
I can't do any
better than jail?

233
00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:51,388
Oh, now you too good
for jail, is that it?

234
00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:53,056
A jail nigga was
good enough for momma,

235
00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:54,683
but not good enough
for you, huh?

236
00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:56,184
[LAUGHS]
Ruckus, stop.

237
00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:57,936
Ebony, don't listen to him,
he's half-retarded.

238
00:07:57,977 --> 00:07:59,354
He's only got
one eye.

239
00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:00,522
No, no,
Robert, Robert.

240
00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:02,065
I'm doing this
for your own good.

241
00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:04,484
Robert, your friend
is too funny.

242
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:05,694
BOTH: Wha--?
I mean,

243
00:08:05,777 --> 00:08:07,696
his views are obviously
reprehensible,

244
00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:10,240
but there's just enough truth
to make me examine myself

245
00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:12,659
in a critical light.
Plus, he's hilarious

246
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:14,536
and thus oddly likeable.

247
00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:15,787
Huh?
Huh?

248
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,205
Well, it's, uh--

249
00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:19,791
I-It's a-- It's a pleasure
to meet you as well,

250
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,042
ma'am.

251
00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:23,128
So then Jesse tried
to say that

252
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,171
I ordered the cheese sandwich
and that I ate

253
00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:26,840
Martin Luther King's
chicken pesto.

254
00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:28,550
But I always ordered
the chicken pesto.

255
00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:31,177
Martin started ordering
it after I started ordering it.

256
00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:33,888
And so Jesse Jackson tried
to stand up all swole.

257
00:08:33,972 --> 00:08:35,223
And I said,
and pardon my language,

258
00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:37,142
"You know what, Jesse?
I'm sick of you."

259
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:38,560
And then he pulled
out a knife and said,

260
00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:40,770
"Nigga, I'm gonna cut
your nuts off." So I said,

261
00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:43,273
"Ah, fuck it, it's only
a sandwich." True story.

262
00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:45,400
I can't believe it,
that actually happened?

263
00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:47,402
Stuff like that
happen to me all the time.

264
00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:50,071
I don't think he was playing.
He wanted to cut my nuts off.

265
00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:52,323
Do you know
how amazing that is?

266
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:55,201
Do you-- Do you know
how amazing your life is?

267
00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:57,037
Well, Robert.
Hope you not feeling

268
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,913
this credit crunch,
because you just spent

269
00:08:58,997 --> 00:09:00,749
a shit-ton
to feed this wildebeest.

270
00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:02,250
[LAUGHS]
Wildebeest?

271
00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:05,670
Oh, well, this one's
on the wildebeest.

272
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,255
[GASPS]

273
00:09:07,339 --> 00:09:09,466
Here we go,
you just won't learn.

274
00:09:09,507 --> 00:09:11,760
I checked her out.
I'm telling you she's wonderful.

275
00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:13,011
Better than wonderful.

276
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,679
Sure she's not
gonna hurt anybody?

277
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,056
Almost positive.

278
00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:18,516
All right, Granddad.
Go ahead, fall in love again.

279
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:19,976
He doing it again,
Huey.

280
00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:21,186
I can see it
in his eye.

281
00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:22,437
She's coming
over tonight.

282
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:24,606
And you two are going
to behave. Got it?

283
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,983
Why don't you just sign your
retirement benefits over to her?

284
00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:28,526
All your bank
accounts too.

285
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:29,778
You just met her
yesterday.

286
00:09:29,861 --> 00:09:32,280
What's taking so long?
Shut up.

287
00:09:32,364 --> 00:09:34,949
And you,
you an enabler.

288
00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:37,160
Enabling-ass nigga.

289
00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:42,499
[♪♪♪]

290
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,042
EBONY:
Seriously?

291
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,085
Yeah.

292
00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:46,586
Well, I understand
why Robert

293
00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:47,962
was worried at first.

294
00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:49,422
There's a lot of
crazy women out there.

295
00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:51,549
Ma'am, we are so happy
you showed up.

296
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,009
Bravo, bravo,
bravo.

297
00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:57,138
Yes, that is a very impressive
set of prepared responses.

298
00:09:57,222 --> 00:09:59,474
Ruckus? What are you doing here?
How did you get in?

299
00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:01,101
It's okay, Robert,
really.

300
00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:03,478
I think it's great that your
friends care so much about you.

301
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:06,106
Robert, may I use
your little girl's room?

302
00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:08,191
So how did you
two kids meet in a park

303
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:09,609
in the middle
of a workday?

304
00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:10,860
Taking a long lunch?

305
00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:12,570
Well, I run
a non-profit organization,

306
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,239
so my hours are flexible.

307
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:15,824
Wow, so what kind
of work do you do?

308
00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:17,325
Well, up until recently
we raised money

309
00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:19,285
to find a cure
for Patterson's disease.

310
00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:21,454
Patterson's disease?
I've never heard of it.

311
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:22,664
Yes, nor have I.

312
00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:24,833
Well, it's a very serious
terminal illness.

313
00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:26,334
Well, it was
a serious illness.

314
00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:28,628
We cured it.
Wow, you cured it?

315
00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:30,046
Yep.
I've never heard

316
00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:32,007
of one of those foundations
actually curing anything.

317
00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:33,717
Yes, that sure is amazing

318
00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:34,926
that you cured
that disease

319
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,302
that ain't nobody
ever heard of.

320
00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:38,471
Oh, tell us, tell us,
what other incredible things

321
00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:40,682
have you done
that only you know about?

322
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:42,142
Were you guys just talking

323
00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:44,185
about Patterson's disease?
Yes. You've heard of it?

324
00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:46,688
My Nana had
Patterson's disease.

325
00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:48,648
Oh, hon.
I never knew that.

326
00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:51,109
She cured it.
Oh, my God,

327
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:53,611
you saved my Nana's life.

328
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,739
[SOBS]

329
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:57,657
You're wonderful.
You are.

330
00:10:57,741 --> 00:10:59,909
[CRYING]

331
00:11:01,953 --> 00:11:03,830
Congratulations,
Robert.

332
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:05,290
She's amazing.

333
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:07,083
Now, now, we're just
taking it slow.

334
00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:08,501
I tell you all,
it's a trap.

335
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:11,588
Beneath that baby-soft lotiony
exterior, them wide,

336
00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:14,215
inviting hips, and that ample
chocolate bosom

337
00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:16,343
is a savage, Africanized,

338
00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:19,679
pot-boiling, bone-in-the-nose,
doing-a-monkey-dance,

339
00:11:19,763 --> 00:11:21,056
playing-drums female.

340
00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:22,599
Ruckus, get the hell on.
Go.

341
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,684
Hey, you may as well
be fucking an orangutan.

342
00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:26,227
Didn't I tell you?
She's perfect.

343
00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:27,937
She's the perfect woman.
I can't find

344
00:11:27,979 --> 00:11:29,856
anything wrong with her.
Right, Granddad,

345
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,274
maybe she not a ho.
Maybe she just

346
00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:33,151
marry you and take
everything when you die.

347
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:35,195
Let's call her
a businesswoman.

348
00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:36,905
All right, boys,
time for bed.

349
00:11:36,988 --> 00:11:38,365
Say good night
to Miss Ebony.

350
00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:39,449
Huey, Riley,

351
00:11:39,491 --> 00:11:41,326
it was great meeting
the both of you.

352
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,370
HUEY:
It was quite a relief
to meet you, Miss Ebony.

353
00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:45,622
I hope we can hang out
again before you steal

354
00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:46,831
all my Granddad's money.

355
00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:48,667
[GRUNTS]

356
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:51,127
[ROLAND SHAW'S "LET THE LOVE
COME THROUGH" PLAYING]

357
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:57,008
[GIGGLES]

358
00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,136
[HUMMING]

359
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:04,974
[GIGGLES]

360
00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:06,518
[HUMMING]

361
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:09,437
Ah!
[SQUEALS]

362
00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:12,148
Oh, daddy.

363
00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:16,820
[HEAVY BREATHING,
KISSING]

364
00:12:16,861 --> 00:12:18,488
GRANDDAD:
Sweet thing, you.

365
00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:20,740
EBONY:
Wait. Can we turn the lights on?

366
00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:22,909
I like to be able to see.
GRANDDAD: Lights on?

367
00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:25,995
I just put on
some weight recently.

368
00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:27,414
I'd rather keep it very,
very dark.

369
00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:29,749
Uh, just use
your imagination.

370
00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:32,085
[LAUGHS]
You're so funny.

371
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:34,713
Okay.
Whatever you like.

372
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,715
[MOANS AND KISSES]

373
00:12:46,224 --> 00:12:48,184
[♪♪♪]

374
00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:18,965
EBONY:
Wait, wait, wait.
Let me guess, let me guess.

375
00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:20,800
And Ed the Third
gets shot in the chest.

376
00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:22,761
Yes.
[LAUGHS]

377
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,387
I just love your life.

378
00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:26,222
You have these crazy adventures

379
00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:28,641
with these bizarre characters
and it's so much fun.

380
00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:30,101
Never thought about it
like that.

381
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:31,561
Seemed like a bunch
of problems.

382
00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:33,313
I love it that you fight people
with a belt,

383
00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:34,606
I love it that you're friends

384
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,566
with a pimp named
A Pimp Named Slickback.

385
00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:38,693
I love that Riley thinks
everything is gay.

386
00:13:38,777 --> 00:13:41,154
I know I shouldn't like
any of these things, but I do.

387
00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:43,156
Yeah,
I guess it is kind of fun.

388
00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:44,491
I want to be a character.

389
00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:46,826
Uh, cameo
or re-occurring?

390
00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:48,661
Regular.

391
00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:50,497
Oh, my.

392
00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:52,290
[♪♪♪]

393
00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:58,004
What am I gonna do?
She's perfect.

394
00:13:58,088 --> 00:13:59,339
She's the perfect woman.

395
00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:01,132
What's the problem?
She too good for me.

396
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,717
Is that what she said?
No,

397
00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:04,886
she says she likes
and accepts me for who I am.

398
00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:06,096
So, what's the problem?

399
00:14:06,137 --> 00:14:07,347
She doesn't know
the real me.

400
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:08,890
No one normal
can love the real me.

401
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:11,184
I have to do something
drastic before I screw it up.

402
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:13,144
I should try to be someone
totally different.

403
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,521
You know,
like Tyrese or Chris Brown.

404
00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:16,064
Someone who's not
a dorky old man.

405
00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:17,732
Yup. Makes sense.
And I shouldn't tell her

406
00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:19,859
how much I like her. Women
like the chase, don't they?

407
00:14:19,943 --> 00:14:21,194
Yup.
Soon as she thinks

408
00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:22,779
she's got me,
she's gonna move on

409
00:14:22,821 --> 00:14:25,281
to another old man to satisfy
her sick old-man fetish.

410
00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:27,742
Nah, she probably just got
a young nigga on the side.

411
00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:28,952
Another man? Of course.

412
00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:30,203
With all these young men

413
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:32,038
with good blood pressure
running around?

414
00:14:32,122 --> 00:14:33,581
And he's probably
buff too.

415
00:14:33,665 --> 00:14:35,208
Yup, real buff.

416
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:36,418
Like Tyrese buff?

417
00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:37,836
Nah, like 50 Cent buff.

418
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,379
Oh, no!

419
00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:41,464
He probably spends all his time
in the gym getting strong.

420
00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:42,882
I bet she thinks
of him every day,

421
00:14:42,966 --> 00:14:45,427
even when she's with me.
Especially when she with you.

422
00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:46,845
Granddad,
this is silly.

423
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,054
She obviously likes you.

424
00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:49,431
Just relax
and be yourself.

425
00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:51,099
Myself?
Nah, that'll never work.

426
00:14:51,182 --> 00:14:53,309
[♪♪♪]

427
00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:57,939
Yeah, uh, I'm looking for
something like a homing device.

428
00:14:58,023 --> 00:14:59,315
Like in the movies,
you know?

429
00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:02,068
See, I have a friend who needs
to follow around

430
00:15:02,152 --> 00:15:03,319
a young lady friend.

431
00:15:03,361 --> 00:15:05,613
Uh, not stalking her
or anything.

432
00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:07,198
You know, that would
be real creepy.

433
00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:11,745
[CAR ALARM BEEPS]

434
00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:14,789
[♪♪♪]

435
00:15:14,873 --> 00:15:17,417
So you just put that little
GPS gadget thingy

436
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,836
in her car and now we can
follow her anywhere.

437
00:15:19,878 --> 00:15:22,505
Lord, the white man
sure is brilliant.

438
00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:25,759
I do love him
and his modern technology so.

439
00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:28,636
Finally. That which
the darkie has done

440
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:30,764
in darkness shall
come to light.

441
00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:32,098
I can't believe it.

442
00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:34,434
Why, Lord, why?

443
00:15:34,517 --> 00:15:35,727
Oh.

444
00:15:37,062 --> 00:15:38,396
GRANDDAD:
Oh!

445
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,024
I didn't know
she can do that.

446
00:15:41,066 --> 00:15:43,401
Let me see.
Let me see.

447
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:45,278
Oh, my God,
look at that.

448
00:15:45,362 --> 00:15:47,280
I'm so sorry, Robert,
but I told you,

449
00:15:47,364 --> 00:15:49,199
that Afro-tramp
could not be--

450
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,867
[SCREAMS]
[SQUIRREL SQUEAKING]

451
00:15:50,909 --> 00:15:52,118
Sorry, squirrel.

452
00:15:52,202 --> 00:15:55,288
[♪♪♪]

453
00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:57,791
Hm, I don't know.

454
00:15:57,874 --> 00:15:59,376
I don't think
I'm a fan of the earring.

455
00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:01,086
Well, I like it.
It's my ear,

456
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:02,796
I can wear an earring.
Maybe two.

457
00:16:02,879 --> 00:16:05,465
You saying I'm too old
to wear an earring?

458
00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:07,133
What's wrong?
You seem grumpy.

459
00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:08,802
Oh, like Grumpy Old Men,■
huh?

460
00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:10,136
[LAUGHS]
I get it.

461
00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:11,346
Let's all laugh
at the old guy.

462
00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:12,597
Is something
bothering you?

463
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:14,516
Now I'm too sensitive?
Is that it?

464
00:16:14,599 --> 00:16:16,810
Huh?
EBONY: No, I'm not saying that.

465
00:16:18,103 --> 00:16:19,437
Are you okay?

466
00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:22,440
Look, do you want me
to take off?

467
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,150
I feel like I'm getting
on your nerves.

468
00:16:24,234 --> 00:16:27,404
Huh? Hey. Hey!

469
00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:29,072
Stop looking
at my woman!

470
00:16:29,114 --> 00:16:30,740
[MOANING]

471
00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:32,283
Hey, what the hell?

472
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,202
Why are y'all staring
at my girl like that?

473
00:16:34,285 --> 00:16:35,912
I know she's hot.
I know she's got a big,

474
00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:37,122
wonderful, glorious behind.

475
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:38,498
But I'm the guy
she's with.

476
00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:40,500
And y'all think because
I'm a pudgy old man

477
00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:42,377
that y'all can just look
at her when you want.

478
00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:45,171
I may not be young. I may
not be buff like Tyrese,

479
00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:48,258
I may not have the pectorial
muscles of a Michael Jai White,

480
00:16:48,299 --> 00:16:50,176
or the washboard abs
of a Tyson Beckford,

481
00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:53,304
or even the shit-your-pants
scariness of a Kimbo Slice.

482
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,890
But don't think I won't punch
one of you punkasses in the eye

483
00:16:55,974 --> 00:16:57,225
for looking at my girl.

484
00:16:57,308 --> 00:17:00,812
You. Mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm.

485
00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,397
You! Hey, punk.

486
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:04,024
Were you looking
at my girl?

487
00:17:04,107 --> 00:17:05,442
EBONY:
Hey, stop.

488
00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:08,194
[♪♪♪]

489
00:17:08,278 --> 00:17:11,114
I am so, so, so,
so sorry, Ebony.

490
00:17:11,156 --> 00:17:12,532
Please don't break up with me.

491
00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:14,826
You don't have to keep
apologizing, Robert.

492
00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:16,286
I'm worried about you.

493
00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:17,871
I don't know
what came over me.

494
00:17:17,954 --> 00:17:19,831
I just-- I feel so old.

495
00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:21,624
There's so many younger,
sexier men out there,

496
00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:23,501
like bald Boris Kodjoe,

497
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,837
or the British sophistication
of a Idris Elba.

498
00:17:25,879 --> 00:17:27,630
Robert, I don't want
to date those guys,

499
00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,424
I've already dated
those guys.

500
00:17:29,507 --> 00:17:31,593
What?
[LAUGHS]: I'm kidding.

501
00:17:31,676 --> 00:17:34,637
Whew. Thought you was a ho
for a second.

502
00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:36,681
Oh, man,
you fought for her?

503
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:38,433
Nobody told you
to fight for her.

504
00:17:38,516 --> 00:17:39,934
She'll never
respect you now.

505
00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:42,062
I mean, she probably didn't
want to say it to your face,

506
00:17:42,145 --> 00:17:43,271
but it's a wrap.

507
00:17:43,355 --> 00:17:44,731
Shut up.
I'm not listening to you.

508
00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:46,232
It's a shame too.

509
00:17:46,316 --> 00:17:47,901
She wasn't bad.
She said she gonna

510
00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:49,611
give me another chance.
Is that right?

511
00:17:49,694 --> 00:17:51,946
How long since
she called you?

512
00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:53,406
[GROANS]

513
00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:55,658
[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]
Hey, it's me again.

514
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:57,869
I just sent you a text message
and a e-mail,

515
00:17:57,911 --> 00:17:59,871
and an instant message,
and a MySpace message,

516
00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:01,915
and I just put
an actual letter in the mail.

517
00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:03,708
You should get it
in a couple of days,

518
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:05,960
and I also tried to send you
a telegraph at the station

519
00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:07,837
but the man said
they don't exist anymore.

520
00:18:07,879 --> 00:18:10,590
I tried to page you but the man
said that doesn't exist anymore.

521
00:18:10,674 --> 00:18:13,093
So, uh, just, uh,
call me when you can.

522
00:18:13,176 --> 00:18:15,720
I'll just be here,
waiting.

523
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:16,930
[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]

524
00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:19,474
WOMAN:
We are like the perfect couple.

525
00:18:19,557 --> 00:18:21,101
MAN:
I'm starting to look like you.

526
00:18:21,184 --> 00:18:22,894
[♪♪♪]

527
00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:47,669
[SIGHS]

528
00:18:47,752 --> 00:18:49,629
Granddad,
I found her.

529
00:18:49,713 --> 00:18:50,672
You did?

530
00:18:50,755 --> 00:18:52,298
Twitter? What the hell
is a Twitter?

531
00:18:52,382 --> 00:18:54,009
Goddamn, they keep
coming up with these

532
00:18:54,092 --> 00:18:55,802
stupid computer things.
I can't keep up.

533
00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:57,804
There should be one damn
computer thing. That's it.

534
00:18:57,887 --> 00:18:59,681
Well, her Twitter says
she's in Malaysia.

535
00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:01,433
Malaysia?
What's she doing there?

536
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,226
She obviously went there
to get away from me.

537
00:19:03,268 --> 00:19:06,688
Or maybe she went for the
inexpensive male prostitutes.

538
00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:08,690
She probably just
needs a little space.

539
00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:11,109
Yeah, a little
other-side-of-the-planet space.

540
00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:13,653
Granddad, you better hurry
before she gets to the moon.

541
00:19:13,737 --> 00:19:15,572
It's settled then.
I'm going to Malaysia.

542
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,784
[♪♪♪]

543
00:19:24,122 --> 00:19:25,623
[LAUGHING]

544
00:19:34,424 --> 00:19:36,926
[GRUNTS]

545
00:19:41,431 --> 00:19:43,099
[PANTS]

546
00:19:45,143 --> 00:19:47,187
And make sure those crates
get moved over there--

547
00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:49,022
Ebony.
Robert?

548
00:19:49,105 --> 00:19:50,440
What are you doing here?

549
00:19:50,482 --> 00:19:52,442
Why? Why did you leave me
all alone?

550
00:19:52,484 --> 00:19:53,818
I mean,
I know I made mistakes,

551
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:55,945
but to leave forever
without saying goodbye...

552
00:19:55,987 --> 00:19:57,822
Robert, it's been
16 hours,

553
00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:59,199
and the flight
is 12 hours.

554
00:19:59,282 --> 00:20:03,036
Oh, yeah, somehow it seemed
longer than that.

555
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:05,372
I tried to call, but my phone
doesn't work over here.

556
00:20:05,455 --> 00:20:06,539
Well, then why did you leave?

557
00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:08,083
You didn't hear
about the typhoon?

558
00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:10,377
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
[HELICOPTER FLYING OVERHEAD]

559
00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:12,629
[♪♪♪]

560
00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:19,552
Robert.
I'm really shocked

561
00:20:19,636 --> 00:20:21,221
that you came all
the way out here,

562
00:20:21,304 --> 00:20:22,389
but it's not healthy.

563
00:20:22,472 --> 00:20:24,516
Look at you.
You look exhausted

564
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:26,559
and stressed and,
I don't know.

565
00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:28,144
I don't want to have
this effect on you.

566
00:20:28,186 --> 00:20:29,521
You don't look happy.

567
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,523
I'm happy. What makes you
think I'm not happy?

568
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:33,233
It was all just a big
misunderstanding.

569
00:20:33,316 --> 00:20:35,610
Whew, well, since I'm already
here, I might as well

570
00:20:35,694 --> 00:20:36,903
help out with
the relief effort.

571
00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:38,905
Robert, we have
to slow this down.

572
00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:40,782
No, let's speed it up.
Let's go faster.

573
00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:42,409
Robert,
you'll be fine.

574
00:20:42,492 --> 00:20:45,120
Next week you'll have some crazy
adventure with another woman.

575
00:20:45,203 --> 00:20:47,414
You won't even remember
this little episode.

576
00:20:47,497 --> 00:20:48,665
I don't know,

577
00:20:48,707 --> 00:20:50,583
I'm not too sure
I have many episodes left.

578
00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:52,752
[♪♪♪]

579
00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:56,965
Goodbye, Robert.

580
00:20:57,048 --> 00:20:58,174
[GROANS]

581
00:20:58,216 --> 00:21:00,176
Please?

582
00:21:02,721 --> 00:21:04,431
Where's she at?
Where's she at?

583
00:21:04,514 --> 00:21:06,016
Miss Brown.
Miss Brown.

584
00:21:06,057 --> 00:21:07,600
Oh, I know she
in there, Robert.

585
00:21:07,684 --> 00:21:10,353
And I can't hold my feelings
inside no longer.

586
00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:12,397
Marry me,
Miss Ebony Brown.

587
00:21:12,439 --> 00:21:14,232
Do me the honor
of becoming

588
00:21:14,274 --> 00:21:16,067
Mrs. Uncle Ruckus.

589
00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:17,318
She's gone, Ruckus.

590
00:21:17,402 --> 00:21:19,529
Gone? Gone, what you--?
What you mean she gone?

591
00:21:19,571 --> 00:21:21,614
I blew it.

592
00:21:21,698 --> 00:21:23,908
Oh, is she ever
coming back?

593
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:24,993
I don't know.

594
00:21:25,076 --> 00:21:26,661
She said I didn't
love myself enough.

595
00:21:26,745 --> 00:21:29,122
Well, that's understandable.
You're a coon.

596
00:21:29,205 --> 00:21:31,624
Hey, I wonder if Ebony can
start one of them foundations

597
00:21:31,708 --> 00:21:33,501
and cure revitaligo.

598
00:21:33,585 --> 00:21:34,961
Oh, she sure
was something.

599
00:21:35,045 --> 00:21:36,504
I mean,
she was a ape,

600
00:21:36,588 --> 00:21:39,466
but she was the prettiest ape
I ever seen.

601
00:21:39,549 --> 00:21:41,593
GRANDDAD:
This is the new
Facebook account

602
00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:43,011
of Robert J. Freeman.

603
00:21:43,094 --> 00:21:45,263
I'm old but still
get around pretty well.

604
00:21:45,305 --> 00:21:46,681
I have two bad grandkids,

605
00:21:46,765 --> 00:21:48,266
and I enjoy pork,
orange juice,

606
00:21:48,308 --> 00:21:50,643
and watching
Real Housewives of Compton.

607
00:21:50,727 --> 00:21:52,437
No bat-shit
crazy women, please.

608
00:21:52,479 --> 00:21:55,607
And don't forget to comment
on my pics, LOL.

609
00:21:55,648 --> 00:21:57,776
[♪♪♪]